Revelations

Hey Neph, how's it going brother?

 

Thought I'd give you a quick version of my testimony, and to let you know what's going on with my health.

I have Chronic pancreatitis and glomerulonephritis, which is a generic name for kidney diseases, and issues that don't follow the play book of known diseases!

Both painful diseases, and no cure for either of them.

 

I was adopted at 4 days old. My parents were both from England. Mum worked at a munitions factory, and Dad was an officer aboard the aircraft carrier HMS Illustrious during WWII

Briefly, and only because I believe you'll be interested - that carrier was involved in some really important and key battles.

 

It was one of the carriers involved in searching for the Bismarck right after she sent the capitol ship Hood to the bottom of the sea from almost 10 miles away! 

Bismarck was also hit, sustaining serious damage and forcing her to break off and head for a port in France for repairs.

 

After the word was received that the Hood was sunk, there was pandaemonium and all available British war ships were re routed and the hunt began.

We all know how that ended, but what's not so widely known is the Illustrious was rushed into service again - she saw her first action during WWI - but when she was underway to war she had bi-wing Swordfish fighter/bombers aboard that were antiquated at the end of WWi!!

 

Sheer incompetence by the British prime minister prior to declarations of war, was Neville Chamberlain. His naivety and trust in Hitler, who "promised" him he would not go to war.

 

Certain extremely fishy things started to happen right after uncle Adolf took over. All of a sudden, the German people were being harassed and threatened by Czech police, which was very convenient for Htler, because that gave him a reason to position a sizeable force along the Czech boarder.

 

Remember, that was German territory which was lost through spoils of war.

So Chamberlain went over to discuss the situation, and the result was stamped into the annals of foolish, gullible things which Chamberlain engaged in. We've all seen the pivotal snap shot captured in time of Chamberlain exiting his small double prop plane waving the infamous sheet of paper over his head! Yes, Hitler promised, and he even put it in writing! IDIOT!

 

There's no excuse for that stupidity because Churchill was constantly chastizing and hounding Chamberlain to begin a serious arms build-up, which was ignored to the point of being surreal - because Churchill had a lot of political power, and experience from his position of Admiral of the fleet during WWI.

 

A direct result was not enough new, modern attack craft available, and the Illustrious had those swordfish planes for almost two years before they got some Corsairs, Avenger dive bombers, and some Wild cats.

 

She never got my personal WWII fighter, the Hellcat! Perfect balance of fire power and armour. They were highly effective against the Japanese Zeros.

OK, Rabbit hole! But, if you ever want to discuss WWII tanks, fighters, bombers, etc I am in!!

 

OK, I'll cut to the chase here!

At 15 years old, I quit school because I knew everything...sigh

And left a perfectly loving middle class home for my 17 year old Cheyenne girlfriend.

We lived in one of Toronto's most violent areas, and we lived with a bunch of bikers.

 

Lots of drinking, drugs my girl and I started singing back then.

I had played acoustic since I was about 12, then I wanted to sing.

 

I got in a LOT of fights back then. In that neighbourhood if another guy guns you up and down (look the wrong way at you) then it was on. Otherwise you were a sheep and they were wolves.

I got into A LOT...LOT...LOT of fights!

I did jail time. I was charged for assault police three separate times, and numerous regular assaults.

 

I never started a single fight. But then again, it did not take much to set me off.

And the drugs! Oh, the drugs! Name it - I took it.

I flat out refused to do needles. Not for fear of the needle, but it was too risky, lots of people die from over dosing. They might get a different batch from what they're used to and the next thing you know you're on the floor turning blue. AIDS wasn't "invented" yet, or, actually it was, but we weren't told about it for many years. There's a doctor going public telling that he was ordered to create weaponized germ-fare, and he invented AIDS for the army.

 

So, I lived in that area for about three years, then I got my third assault police charge and was sentenced to a year. When I made parole, the judge wrote on condition that I live with my parents, and had to be off the streets by ten pm!? What??!! I was nineteen!!

 

Anyway, that year turned out to be a blessing, because I got clean, and came back to my senses.

So when my parents moved to a small town North West of Toronto called Tottenham, I was happy to move with them. I was done my parole by then, and so I didn't have to move with them, I wanted.

 

I ended up meeting a musician and we became life long friends.

We played for a few years. I was back on drugs again and drinking.

Met a woman and we moved in together after a year. 

Broke up with her, and we have a daughter together who is 32, and a meth addict living on the streets of Toronto by choice.

 

I told her she could move back in with us, have her own bedroom, and she didn't have to worry about getting a job until she went through a nine months addiction program, and made all her out patient appointment. She basically told me to F-Off.

 

So she stole one of our bank cards and stole $1,500 one night.

She doesn't want off the drugs. That's where it stands.

 

Anyway, I was in a pretty good band, and met Dawn while I was living in Bolton with the band.

So Dawn first saw me on a stage with another band I had joined.

She was always a heavy woman, and never had a single boyfriend when she lost all the weight and was 120 pounds when she first saw me.

 

She was with her sister, and two other friends.

They all told me that Dawn took one look at me, and her eyes went all goofy! lol!

She told them she had an overwhelming feeling that we would get married! What??!!

It's true, after we met it was her sister who first told me, then the two friends who were there told me the exact same story. I asked Dawn about it and she says yes, I have never felt like tat, and I knew we would get married!!

 

We married! We were together 6 weeks, and we each had very powerful feeling for each other.

Thirty years and still deeply in love brother!!

But...I was in a band and was drinking and drugging!

 

I had a very close friend who was selling cocaine. He was getting 2 keys at a time.

So I would spend days at his place doing coke.

He would shove his hand into this huge zip lock bag and bust off chunks from the center of the block, where the very best drug is found, and he would put an "eight-ball" of coke in a smaller bag for me and tell me "take it - don't worry about paying"!

 

That was a quarter ounce of free coke whenever I wanted it for free!!!

Being in a band was paying dividends! 

So, I was scouted by a seriously talented band, and they found out I was going to audition a new drummer, and a new guitar player. We booted the drummer, and wanted a second guitar player.

 

So, the guitar player from the skilled band, showed up at the audition. I knew who he was, but said nothing because I wanted to see what his angle was. I kinda figured it out anyway.

So we finished up, and I told my guitar player I'd see him at home, and everyone went out to their cars.

 

The guitar player Dave, that was in the mega band was sitting in his car with another dude, who was his drummer.

When they saw me headed for my car they came over and started small talk.

"So, what do you think of the drummer"? Not very good - they both laughed.

Anyway, they asked me to join their band and i did.

 

I wrote every song, with exception of two. One was written by the second guitar player in the new band, Barry Stock. Barrie was a really, really great guy and killer guitar player. That band had two number one guitars!

When we split, Barrie got in with Three Days Grace, and was with them for years. They have a few albums out.

 

So the other was a collaboration between me and Dave. Everything else was mine.

So we were playing around, and Dawn and i had two sons when things began to melt down.

Dawn was becoming jealous of the tarts who would drool at our feet, which sickened me.

 

At a big show in a high profile venue with three thousand seats, we had just completed the first set and were back stage refreshing and drinking, drugging etc.

The guys had no clue that the key board player Chris and I were doing coke.

They eventually figured it out but not for a long time.

 

Anyway, I was wondering why Dawn wasn't back there. When it was time to go back on, I spotted her in the front row seating and she was pissed off!! Fuming mad, and I had no clue why.

When we had finished and on our way home she unloaded with both barrels!

Security refused to let her in, because her name wasn't on a guest list!!

 

She didn't need to be on any list, she's my wife right!?

So, I wish she would have just sent someone else who had a back stage pass to come get me.

She didn't get her back stage pass for some reason, and so she figured I didn't want her backstage, which was ludicrous, because she was ALWAYS back stage.

 

So by that time there was preliminary negotiations with a major label, I think it was WEA, and also with Polydor.

But by that point, I was beginning to learn about Jesus. I wasn't a born again Christian but I was interested.

Still doing drugs etc. I was addicted to the coke heavily.

 

So we had a huge fight on the way home, and she was laying down choices for me, which is the absolute wrong way to deal with me, because any time anyone started with ultimatums, well I made sure they regretted it!

And so I told her that the band was way more important than she was to me, which I DID NOT mean, I was reacting to her ultimatums. 

 

So when we got home she went straight to the stereo, grabbed all the recordings we did which were not mixed down yet and destroyed them!! I went straight upstairs to bed, and had no idea she was flipping out like that.

She took my entire lyric collection, which had hundreds of songs I'd written over the years, and started tearing it all up. It must have taken hours!

Then it was all taken out back and set on fire.

 

She took all my music books, with lyrics and chords - The Beatles - Wings - Lennon - The Who - all kinds of bands. And those were never seen again...sigh.

What's that old saying Neph? Hell hath no furry like a woman scored!?

 

After we both calmed own, we had a long and honest discussion and I decided I wanted my family more than some two year tour and a label.

A couple of nights later, I was stoned on the crack - oh, did I mention that we started free basing the coke into crack? And smoked it in glass pipes?

 

I wanted to quit so very badly, but just could not handle the withdraw.

Earlier in that day, I decided I had to quite once and for all, and so I would just have to sweat it out.

 

I purposefully did not go to my buddy's and get more crap. I threw the glass pipe away, and that was that!

Dawn was working nights, and I was home alone with our two boys.

I was sitting on the edge of our bed. We were in seriously bad shape, because while I was being "rock star" we were broke, and Dawn and to work nights in a dirty factory.

 

We had to move in with her alcoholic and violent parents.

The father was a mean drunk and her mum was too.

One night he started threatening to smash a phone in her face, and so I took the kids upstairs, and went back to make sure nothing stupid happened.

 

They were both pissed, and he got up to smack her face, and so he woke up about ten minutes later. Dawn's brother had just walked in at the wrong time, and he rushed at me screaming how he was going to kill me. We had to call an ambulance to wake him up.

 

But that turned out to be a really good thing. Sure, their pride was hurt, but the old man quit drinking, and we became very close buddies for the remaining years of his life. I miss the bugger!

We have Dawn's mim here with alzheimer's, and is expected to go any day now.

 

Dawn wanted her to die at home, so she wouldn't be left alone.

So back to sitting on our bed.

The house was a total pig stye! There were six or seven cats, and four very poorly cared for dogs that all had mange, it was the saddest, more horrific case of animal abuse I ever saw.

 

I was looking at our two baby boys, Michael had a single "big boy" bed, he was about two and a half. Jason was in his crib, he was a few months old.

I was looking at the two beautiful boys, Brandon wasn't born yet, and I began to think about how great my father was. He sacrificed everything for us. He worked hard every day and NEVER took a single day off in over thirty years except one summer when we all went to England together for a month.

 

I was a sorry excuse for a father. My WWII tough guy Dad taught my late brother Jim and i not to cry, because men do not cry. But I was crying that early morning...looking at those two innocent little angels, and knowing I was a selfish bastard...

 

I don't remember ever feeling that guilty, or that low, and as the tears streamed down my face I heard my name spoken....what? I was frozen...I knew I was the only one home...I didn't want to turn and see who was there...then as my mind was racing, trying to figure out what had just happened...I heard my  name again, and this time I knew 100% positively that it was Jesus Christ!! Don't ask me to explain how I knew that Neph, I just knew.

 

I never said a word, and I never saw Him. He told me to stop worrying that everything was going to be alright, then He was gone...

I was shocked, confused, and overjoyed all at once!

 

It was amazing! I had heard all the stories from people saying they saw Jesus, or Jesus spoke to them etc, but never, ever did I ever dare believe it would happen to me!! Who am I that Jesus Christ would come to my dank, filthy bedroom and encourage me? I felt nothing but love and power with confidence! Amazing!

 

His voice went through my entire body and it took a couple of minutes, but then it hit me!

I was cured, and healed! No more withdrawal, no more urge to do drugs!!!

Brother, Jesus Christ spoke to me and healed me of my drug addiction, and cured my withdrawal!!!

 

Brother, prior to that happening we had no money, no home of our own, I had no job, no prospects for a job, and was a drug fiend!

 

Two weeks later I pick up the phone and the man says hey it's so n so, and I have good news.

Who is this? It's so n so from Keswick apartments. The apartment you applied to,. that had a five year waiting list? Well amazingly, every one ahead of you secured other options...I had no clue who this guy was, or what he was talking about, but I wrote down the details and hung up.

 

It turned out my mother, who had moved from Tottenham to Keswick, had applied for an apartment for us, but when she was told there was a five year waiting list she forgot all about it.

 

So we moved into a brand new two bedroom apartment in a beautiful little Lake side town called Keswick.

About two years later there was a townhouse complex built across the street from us.

We applied for one, but coincidentally, there was a five years waiting list!

Two weeks later, we got a call and it seems everyone on the list in front of us found alternate accommodations! 

 

We moved into a brand new townhouse! I was on a disability pension by that time.

Neighbours, and good friends of ours told us they had heard Habitat for Humanity was building a house in town somewhere, and they were the first people to apply and they got the house!!

 

They told us to apply, but I figured the odds of us also getting a home was pretty thin, but I applied anyways.

During the interview with Habitat management, they told us they were having to be way more careful about applications because a family who got the first home were less than honest with them! They had no idea we were friends.

 

And so we went through a highly detailed process where every single financial transaction you've ever done was looked into, references were checked etc.

In the meantime my brother Jim was ill and called to see if I would drive him to the hospital.

He lived in town and of course I would.

 

Later, we found out he had terminal pancreatic cancer and had two months to live.

He had four young daughters, one just had a huge tumour removed, and the youngest was born with a cleft lip, and had a series of corrective operations. His wife was also very ill with serious diabetes and was a cancer survivor.

 

He was told he could have a highly intrusive surgery, and the odds of surviving the surgery were slim, but if he survived it, he could live UP TO a year.

So he took the gamble.

 

When we were first told he had cancer, I was with him and I suddenly, and for no reason became absolutely terrified! I have been in some serious scrapes in my time been shot at, had people try to kill me, but never, ever felt this level of terror.

I had to sit there and pretend I was fine.

 

I realized what was happening about a day later. God was putting the fear in me, because of the years I had been a born again Christian, I never spoke to my own brother about it. Never told him about that night, when I heard Jesus, never told him what happened after that etc.

And now he's going to die a lost soul.

 

As soon as I realized that, the fear stopped.

So I started talking. He was in for the 9 hour surgery, and we were all in the family room waiting for word.

 

After 9 hours they told us we could see him, that he won't survive the night.

I have never seen anything so sad, so pathetic and heart breaking in my life, as when I laid eyes on my brother that night. He had tubes coming and going all over the place. His face was swollen huge, and his eyes were swollen shut.

 

He tried to speak, he was trying to say help but he couldn't because he still had a breathing tube down his throat. It was horrific!

I was fighting with all my strength to choke back the tears, and moaning which I wanted so badly to do.

But his two eldest girls were there, his wife was there, my mother...so I had to keep it together, while they were all sobbing.

 

I became seriously ill and ended up in the hospital about a week after his surgery.

I was drugged up heavily and could barely move but Dawn had brought me a Bible which I asked her to do. So the nurse would NOT let me go up two floors and see my brother.

 

So I stole my room mate's wheel chairs, and went up myself.

I wheeled in his room and he was sitting up in his bed - well, he wasn't sitting up, he had his bed raised so he appeared to be sitting up.

He looked perplexed because I'm in a wheel chair with an iv bag, and pajamas!

 

His daughters and wife were there, and i rolled over and set the bible on his bed beside him.

Then he was really, really perplexed! He had no clue who I was!

Before I left I made him promise he would read John.

 

He survived against all odds, and about a month later he was home, and wanted me to take him fishing. Right off I said no way, but then he looked at me very seriously and said "this will be the last year I can go" So I choked back more sobbing and agreed.

 

We went up to the childhood cottage and fished in Burnt river. I have such memories of us at that cottage every summer, fishing, riding bikes, going to barn parties with dad etc.

We went fishing almost every day, and it was about an hour and a half each way and we talked about God.

 

Year one came and went. I was driving him to all of his chemo sessions and we talked about God there and back as well, which was an hour each way.

Then spring came around and he wanted to take the aluminum boat! Again, I said no way, because you had major surgery last year, which ripped and had to have a mesh put in to hold your guts in!

 

But again, this will be the last time etc, and so we took the boat.

And we talked about God. He was not interested in God at all!

What kind of God lets a father die? That's a hard one to answer, but I answered, trying to explain the sin which caused the entire universe to be cursed, and this is NOT the life we were created for etc.

 

Year two came and went. Same thing except now he did not want to talk about God anymore. He was angry! And so I laid off.

Back to fishing agin, and little by little he began to see how I was probably right, but he was just not interested!

 

Year three came and went.

New Years Eve, we always took our three boys to Jim's, and his four daughters and always had a great time. But this year was somber.

He was just about at the end. He started out 265 pounds and now he was under 100 lbs.

 

He looked like a halocaust victim. He was so very weak and could barely speak.

He asked me to come to his den to discuss something.

I followed him, and we both sat down in his dark back room.

 

He was so very weak that it took him a couple of minutes to settle down from walking.

He looked me straight in the eye and told me he had accepted Jesus Christ...we cried, and hugged.

 

Feb 4th 2003 my eldest niece called us and told us they needed my help to pick Dad up because he fell on the kitchen floor and can't get up.

We lived a two minute drive away. It was an ice storm, and there was a sheet of ice on everything. It took about five minutes to get there.

 

We walked in - my four nieces were there, and they had a friend staying over.

I walked into the kitchen and he was on his back, with his head in his eldest girl's lap. She was stroking his head. I knelt down and clearly saw he was not there....

 

I had to tell the girls, and his wife that their Dad was gone. All I heard for days was the sound of all those girls sobbing and wailing. His girls and their friend, his wife, and dawn, all at the same time it was pitiful and horrible, and I had once again to bite down hard and get through this. 

 

We called an ambulance and the fire dept got there first, then the ambulance and cops.

The cops took statements and left pretty fast. They were so good with the girls.

The fire department also.

 

The paramedics had to call the coroner, because they can't take a deceased person until the coroner pronounces.

An hour went by, then two he was called multiple times six hours later, sobbing children and wives Jim's wife and mine when finally the paramedics took him out of pure disgust for the coroner.

 

I was extremely angry at God, because His word told me that if I asked, and truly believed, He would answer my prayers, well right up to the day he died, I had such faith...I had worked so very hard to have faith, pure unadulterated faith that God was going to save my brother!!

 

On December 10th, I was extreme;y sad. That was his birthday, and the first one he wasn't here for. Then I went and got the mail, and we got a letter informing us we had been accepted to get our own brand new Habitat home!! Bitter sweet.

 

Then Mum died, and my aunt, my father in law, my brother's wife died one year after Jim died. The girls were without a mum and dad.

Then my ex sister conned my dad out of over $150,000, which I had warned him to watch out for her. She conned him good. He had no idea how deeply she hated him. She blamed him for breaking up mum's first marriage, who was my two sister's real father. But the truth is he was a nasty alcoholic who used to beat the crap out of mum.

 

So, Dad became angry at me and my eldest sister, because of outrageous lies Ivy told him after he broke from losing mum. He wanted to split his money between us all, and I talked him out of it. I told him to hang onto it, and when he passed whatever is left will be divided.

 

He wasn't taking no for an answer. Bt then Ivy got in his head, and he moved in with her. He was supposed to live with is, and I could have protected him from her.

So he realized he had been conned,a dn I was telling the truth, and so early one Jan ,morning he snuck out of her house around 12:30 am to 2am. 

 

He walked in six inches of snow down the street to the lake. The he was stopped by a police cruiser. They questioned him, as to why he was out that early in the morning and he told them he just needed to clear his head after losing his wife. They drove off, and he walked out onto the frozen lake until he found an open hole and he jumped in.

 

The police called me that morning around 9am and told me what happened. They didn't know where he was and I told them in the lake. I knew where he was all along.

The largest manhunt in Georgina's region ever was out looking for him.

Police were walking from Jackson's Point, to Keswick checking the ditches! That's a good nine mile walk, and they did it because I was out searching the lake shore, and we saw them.

 

We went to mum grave, and we saw his foot tracks in the snow.

Then I knew for certain he was in the lake.

They put a diver out in the frozen lake but found nothing. It's a huge lake, check out Lake Simcoe. We live on the south east tip called Cook's bay. Check it on Google.

 

The search went on for weeks.

The following spring I saw them take his body out of the lake on the news.

My other sister Gloria and I hired a lawyer to freeze his assets, but the bank told the lawyer it was too late, it was all gone. There was a bare bones minimum of $150,000 and probably closer to $200,000.

 

She spent it all, or hod it. Either way she conned him into putting the money in a joint account and she spent it. She was driving a brand new convertible car two weeks after he moved in with her.

 

She had power of attorney, and because the entire family knew what she did there was no funeral. Because she didn't want to face the music. We never got to say a proper goodbye.

 

I was so angry at God for all of this and I lost control. I left my wife and moved back to my old neighbourhood in Toronto.

I was drinking hard and jus being a real idiot.

After three months I called my wife and asked her to come get me.

She was there in a flash with our sons...oh Neph what a joyous day that was, we were all in tears.

They all understood and never, ever rubbed it in my face.

 

I had a dream one night, and my father was at my front door calling my name. He was happy and came to tell me he was fine.

God let me know that He did in fact answer my prayer.

 

Here's how. My brother wanted nothing to do with God, nothing!

If he had not have become ill with cancer, he may have been killed in a trucking accident, because he drove transport trucks for many years. If that had have happened, Jim would not have been saved, then what?

 

God let him go like that so that Jim could get into Heaven.

Once I understood that, I began to heal. I have NEVER, EVER hated anyone in my life. But then my sister Ivy did what she did, and her two adult children were in on it as well.

It took tremendous effort for me to forgive them and ask God to forgive them so they could be saved.

 

But that's exactly what I did.

That was the SHORT version Neph!

 

Take care my brother.

 

Jack Von Bronzesnake